“Come play with me” is a phrase commonly used by children, whether explicitly spoken or not. Children are constantly sending us signals and invitations to enter their world through simple actions and even silence. One of the most powerful lessons I’m learning through my work at MindWell Counseling is that behavior is a form of communication. In play therapy, toys become the words, and actions are the vehicles that children use to form sentences. When we observe children at play, we’re not just watching – we’re actively listening to what they’re trying to tell us without speaking.     

As previously mentioned, behavior itself is a form of communication. Sometimes, we like to add labels to the behavior we observe; it’s easy to try to interpret what we see and put it into a category of “good” or “bad,” when in fact this is not the right approach. Instead, we should start by asking ourselves, “What is this child trying to tell me?” instead of evaluating how they are trying to portray this. This perspective allows us to view behavior, such as an outburst or shutdown, as a need, feeling, story, or message that a child is trying to send. It is a reminder that children are constantly showing us how they’re doing, even if it is not always verbal. In fact, some of the most honest expressions are shown without any words at all. For example, a child lining up crayons by color for twenty minutes might be telling us about a need for control or a sense of order in a chaotic world. A child who knocks over blocks instead of building them might be expressing frustration, sadness, or the desire to connect. These aren't problems to "fix” – they're messages and pushes for us to listen.     

Throughout this week’s focus on the topic of play therapy, one of the most powerful takeaways has been the importance of the therapist’s presence. In a podcast by Lessons from the Playroom, one quote stood out to me: “The therapist is the most important toy in the playroom.” While toys give children the tools to express themselves, it’s the therapist who creates the emotional safety and connection that makes meaningful expression possible. 

The therapist’s ability to actively listen, observe without judgment, and reflect back what the child is communicating, with or without words, is what transforms play into healing. It reminded me that in this work, showing up and being there are some of the most powerful tools that we can take advantage of.