Grief is difficult for anyone, but for children, it can be especially confusing and overwhelming. When a child experiences a loss, whether it's the death of a loved one, a pet, or even a major life change like their parents' divorce or moving, they often lack the words or tools to express what they’re feeling. As caregivers, we want to ease their pain, but it can be hard to know where to start.

Here are some ways to support kids through grief with empathy, honesty, and presence.

1. Be honest and talk about it

Children benefit from short, simple conversations and explanations. Use direct, yet gentle language to establish a relationship of trust that emphasizes room for questions and emotions.

2. Normalize and validate their emotions

Grief can show up in many ways, whether it be anger, denial, sadness, or avoidance. It is crucial to remind children that what they are feeling is okay. This creates a safe space for them to express themselves and feel heard.

3. Keep a Routine

Grief can make the world feel unpredictable. Keeping consistent routines (like meals, bedtime, and school drop-offs) provides a sense of safety. It doesn’t mean ignoring grief, but rather enforcing familiarity in a world full of change. This can help them find stability as they experience big and unfamiliar emotions.

4. Create opportunities for expression

Some kids want to talk; others need space or creative outlets. Try offering:

● Drawing or journaling

● Reading books about grief together

● Making memory boxes or photo albums

● Simply sitting beside them and listening

Let them choose the pace and style of their grieving process.

5. Know when to seek support

Some signs a child might benefit from therapy or extra help include:

● Ongoing trouble sleeping or eating

● Big behavior changes

● Withdrawal from friends or activities they once loved

6. Resources

Books For Children

● In My Heart - A Book of Feelings by Jo Witek

● The Heart and The Bottle by Oliver Jeffers

● The Memory Box - A Book About Grief by Joanna Rowland

● A Terrible Thing Happened by Margaret M. Holmes

● Butterfly Kisses and Wishes on Wings - When Someone You Love Has Cancer… a hopeful, helpful book for kids by Ellen McVickerOther 

Other Resources

● Dougy Center’s Parent Guides – dougy.org

● National Suicide Prevention Lifeline – 988

● Wendt Center for Loss & Healing - wendtcenter.org

Final Thoughts

There’s no “right way” to grieve and no timeline for feeling better. What matters most is that children know they are not alone, that it’s okay to feel, and that they are deeply loved through it all.

Grief is one of life's most difficult journeys, but with compassion, patience, and connection, you can walk alongside them. 

If you are interested in learning more, reach out to Maggie Meyer, a Licensed Counselor and Registered Play Therapist in Bethesda, MD, serving Bethesda, Rockville, Potomac, Silver Spring, and all of Montgomery County, MD. You're not alone!