What would you tell your best friend going through a rough time? Chances are, you wouldn’t respond with criticism or judgment. You’d likely remind them of their strengths, validate their feelings, and speak with kindness. So here’s the real question: Why is it so hard to offer that same compassion to ourselves?

Being your own best friend doesn’t mean pretending everything’s perfect. Being your own best friend means practicing self-compassion, which involves treating yourself with the same warmth, care, and understanding you would offer to a close friend. It’s not fluffy or indulgent. It’s one of the most powerful tools you can use to develop resilience, emotional well-being, and achieve a more fulfilling life. When we cultivate that kind of inner relationship, everything begins to shift: how we handle challenges, how we care for ourselves, and how we present ourselves in the world.

So, how do you start practicing self-compassion?

Talk to Yourself Like Someone You Love

Your inner voice matters. Pay attention to how you speak to yourself on hard days. Would you say those words to a friend? If not, pause. Reroute. Practice saying things like:

“I’m doing my best right now, and that’s enough.” or “It’s okay to feel this way.”

Check In With Yourself Regularly

Best friends usually notice when something’s off. They ask, “What’s going on? How are you really?” Make time to do the same for yourself. Try journaling, voice notes, or simply sitting with yourself for a few minutes each day and asking:

What do I need right now?

What’s weighing on me?

What would make me feel better in this moment?

Tuning in helps you stay grounded and respond with care instead of running on autopilot.

Celebrate the Little Wins

Your best friend would cheer you on for even the smallest victories, so learn to do that for yourself, too. Finished your to-do list? Cooked dinner instead of ordering out? Set a boundary that felt uncomfortable but necessary? Spoke up for yourself?  Each one of those wins deserves a moment of acknowledgment. Self-validation builds confidence and momentum, helping you rely less on external approval and more on your own inner sense of worth.

Give Yourself Permission to Rest and Listen to Your Body

Rest isn’t lazy. It’s essential. Being your own best friend means recognizing when you’re tired, physically, mentally, emotionally, and not waiting for permission to slow down. Rest is an act of self-respect. Let go of the pressure to be “on” all the time and give your mind and body the break it’s asking for.

Show up for Yourself

It doesn’t mean pretending you’re okay when you’re not, or pushing through every challenge with a smile. It means meeting yourself where you are with honesty, care, and commitment and choosing, over and over, to have your own back. Especially when you don’t feel like it. Because those are the moments that matter most. 

Final Thought

At the end of the day, being your own best friend means showing up – not perfectly, but consistently. It’s about offering yourself the same kindness, encouragement, and grace you so easily give to others. When you learn to stand by yourself through the highs and lows, you build a foundation of trust that no one else can give you. So start small. Speak gently. Celebrate often. And remember: you are always worthy of your own love.

If you are interested in learning more, reach out to Maggie Meyer, a Licensed Counselor and Registered Play Therapist in Bethesda, MD, serving all of Montgomery County, MD. You're not alone!